The other night my husband mentioned to me that we should start trying for the next baby. I was shocked. We had a plan in place to start trying this fall so he would be home through my pregnancy as he works out of town for the time being. It’s like a switch went off and he’s ready for another child, but as he put it, not another pregnancy. I then asked myself, was I really that horrible to be around during pregnancy! I had an awesome pregnancy with our first. It was all smooth sailing. I LOVED being pregnant. Best feeling in the world, having a little human being growing inside your belly. Knowing you are creating something so magical and truly a miracle. Then we got to talking about what if’s. What if, the next baby isn’t easy, what if we have twins, what if this baby ruins the dynamics we have now with our two other daughters. The last what if is obviously a given.
We had to stop and truly think for a moment if this was worth bringing another little one into the world. I love our dynamics right now, other than my husband working out of town. Our little party of three (sometimes 4) is comfortable and easy. Easy as in, I only have one kid at home screaming for a snack and smearing poop everywhere. (That’s a story for another time!) Right now, I don’t have to juggle a baby and a toddler. Just the toddler, and sometimes a 7 year old. My toddler is almost 2, and a handful at times. She is very demanding, stubborn and knows what she wants (even if I can’t understand her)! The other half of the time she is the most compassionate, caring, loving, happy, humorous and fun little girl. This out ways her stubborn traits 100%! She truly makes us stop and realize, of course the risk is worth having another child.
Then another thought crosses my mind. There are those rumors, that your first is the good one and tricks you into wanting another but in fact, takes you for a ride! A bumpy, screaming, no sleeping, heck of a ride. I think to myself, oh it can’t be that bad. Annalise only didn’t let us sleep by ourselves for the first 5 months. She was exclusively breast fed for the first 6 months as she wouldn’t take a bottle. So she was a part of me every single day. I didn’t get any breaks. She would only sleep about 2-3 hours the first 5 months and feed constantly. We had our melt downs, probably from a lack of sleep and support. That’s not too bad, right?
Times have changed a little since our first pregnancy. In the first pregnancy my husband was working on a divorce, we moved to a new smaller town, and my job was a little bit up in the air while on maternity leave. I didn’t have many friends in that town so it was just Anna and I while James worked. The new year came around and my husbands divorce went through. That was a big turning point for us. This meant the wedding I was planning for in July was not for nothing. Phew! I took a transfer to the city, left Hubby in the small town (to finish his work term), we bought our first house, bought a new truck, got married, and started the new job while putting baby girl into daycare part time. Thank goodness we have Grandma and Opa here to help take care of Anna and keep my house from falling apart!
Life hasn’t slowed down since we had Annalise, it has only become more interesting and I wouldn’t change a thing! Through all our rollercoasters life (or ourselves) has thrown at us, we are keeping on. Taking one day at a time while enjoying the small things. For now we will cherish the times with our tiny family before we take the plunge and have another little monster. As well, we will keep our toes crossed that the next pregnancy is as smooth sailing as the first. After all, every pregnancy and baby is different.
And no, I will not buy a van.
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